The Pull Of Distractions

When we stop the busyness of the mind and come back to ourselves,
the enormity and rawness of our suffering can seem very intense
because we are so used to ignoring it and distracting ourselves. When
we feel suffering, we have the urge to run away from it and fill ourselves
up with junk food, junk entertainment, anything to keep our mind
off the pain that is there inside us. It doesn’t work. We may succeed in
numbing ourselves from it for a little while, but the suffering inside
wants our attention and it will fester and churn away until it gets it.
We run away from ourselves because we don’t want to be with ourselves. Our pain is a kind of energy that is not pleasant. We fear
that if we release our diversions and come back to ourselves, we’ll be
overwhelmed by the suffering, despair, anger, and loneliness inside.
So we continue to run away. But if we don’t have the time and the willingness
to take care of ourselves, how can we offer any genuine care to
the people we love?
That’s why the first practice is to stop running, come home to our
bodies, and recognize our suffering. When we notice anger or anxiety
coming up, we can recognize these feelings of suffering. Suffering is
one energy. Mindfulness is another energy that we can call on to come
and embrace the suffering. The practice of mindful breathing is essential,
because it provides us with the energy we need for the other steps
of taking care of suffering.
With mindful breathing, you can recognize the presence of a painful
feeling, just like an older sibling greets a younger sibling. You can
say, “Hello, my suffering. I know you are there.” In this way, the energy
of mindfulness keeps us from being overwhelmed by painful feelings.
We can even smile to our suffering and say, “Good morning, my pain,
my sorrow, my fear. I see you. I am here. Don’t worry.”