Embracing Suffering

If we let the suffering come up and just take over our mind, we can
be quickly overwhelmed by it. So we have to invite another energy to
come up at the same time, the energy of mindfulness. The function of
mindfulness is, first, to recognize the suffering and then to take care
of the suffering. The work of mindfulness is first to recognize the suffering
and second to embrace it. A mother taking care of a crying baby naturally will take the child into her arms without suppressing, judging
it, or ignoring the crying. Mindfulness is like that mother, recognizing
and embracing suffering without judgment.
So the practice is not to fight or suppress the feeling, but rather
to cradle it with a lot of tenderness. When a mother embraces her
child, that energy of tenderness begins to penetrate into the body of
the child. Even if the mother doesn’t understand at first why the child
is suffering and she needs some time to find out what the difficulty
is, just her act of taking the child into her arms with tenderness can
already bring relief. If we can recognize and cradle the suffering while
we breathe mindfully, there is relief already.
Embracing our suffering may seem to be the opposite of what we
want to do, especially if our suffering is very large, as with depression.
Depression is one of the most widespread forms of suffering in our
time. It can take away our peace, our joy, our stability, and even our
ability to eat, move about, or do simple tasks. It can seem insurmountable
and we may think that the only thing we can do is either to run
away from it or give in to it.
But nonjudgmentally recognizing and embracing this great suffering
is not at all the same thing as giving in to it. Once you have
offered your acknowledgment and care to this suffering, it naturally
will become less impenetrable and more workable; and then you have
the chance to look into it deeply, with kindness (but still always with
a solid ground of mindful breathing to support you), and find out why
it has come to you. It is trying to get your attention, to tell you something,
and now you can take the opportunity to listen. You can ask
someone to look with you—a teacher, a friend, a psychotherapist.
Whether alone or together with your friends, you can explore what
kind of roots it has, and what nutriments and habits of consumption have been feeding your sorrow. You can discover how, through looking
deeply, you can transform this organic “garbage” into compost, which
in turn may become many beautiful flowers of understanding, compassion,
and joy.